Water of Youth
Elven Bathhouse And here is a story that no one's ever heard before. Once upon a time there lived a boy named Rick, about seven years old, and he was crazy about one insanely beautiful elf – it's hard to say how old – who worked as a bath keeper. His name was Falaerin, which came to the lips of many adult men who were going to this elf for money. Rick had neither his own money nor decent age. How jealous he was!
Rick's parents often saw his red ears and noticed whose long ears were the reason. Finally, in order to calm down their son, they read him a poem of a young man and his elf lover. The young man quickly matured and grew old, while the elf did not change at all.
Poor Rick cried for a week, but did not stop drawing long-eared heads in the sand with a stick. Finally, he stayed on the beach all night, staring at the full moon, listening to the sea and suddenly a naked girl on a broomstick came down from the moon and, giggling, she said that she knew perfectly how to make a person immortal.
"It's just that your parents dug up the wrong book, there's another. Almost the same thing, but the person there becomes immortal, and then there is a whole series about their love, more than twenty volumes. Well, in short, I advise you to become a necromancer."
"A neck-romance-what?"
"A necromancer, a wizard who can control death, well, just like I, for example, can fly on a broomstick, as you noticed."
"Wow, yes! How do I do that?"
"For now, drool on your scribbles and read special literature. Well, and set up your parents that you want to become a cool wizard when you grow up. I will do a bit of magic so they won't mind and will soon send you to study with us, to the witch's school. We have a wonderful necromancer, you'll work with him for ten years, maybe you'll even forget your elf."
Eleven years later, the light knock of boots approached the famous elven bathhouse. Falaerin opened his sleepy eyes and immediately opened them all over his face. Before him stood a skeleton in a skirt!
Yes, the stranger had a long black skirt with an ornamented belt tightly wrapping his narrow hips. Though they weren't anywhere as narrow as his wasp-like waist. The skin there was pulled all the way to the spine, by itself, without any corset-like device, as if it was pulled right over the skeleton. He also wore a black cloak with a hood, and also some jewelry.
"Hi, Fal! Long time no see!" The stranger threw back his hood, revealing to the sun his long gray hair and dark eyes.
The elf peered into them carefully. "Is it really... Rick? Nuts!"
"Yes, it's me, Fal."
"What! Let me look at you. Dear god of love, your body..." Falaerin gulped. "Let me guess, of all the jobs in the world you took belted dancing!? You are a dancer, right? Apparently, famous? Will you show me? I just adore..."
"No, no, Fal. I haven't studied dancing, but I'll definitely study it for you later. Now we have a lot of time."
"Yes, yes. Gods, how thin you are! I can wrap my hands around your waist! Wow! Feels like choking someone on the neck! Sorry!"
"Ah! Please don't let go so fast. Squeeze it even tighter..."
"You like that? Then let's get in the bathhouse at last. I'll massage your waist to death today! And squeeze out all the juices, so to speak, heh heh..."
"Oh, Fal! Wait, you distracted me! I forgot the most important thing to say! Speaking of death and necks! I am a necromancer. Immortal. I did it for you, never to grow old, so we could be together. Always. I will always look like I do now, I'll never grow old. True, I had to pay for it with my flesh. I didn't expect that I would end up looking like... uh."
"Like a wandering skeleton? But I like it! You didn't even let me talk! When I saw these ribs and a hollow stomach, I swear something moved in my underpants! I stared at you and thought: now, I wouldn't mind to be a client of this client! And suddenly it was you, Rick!"
"By the way, it's not Rick anymore. Changed my name to Lichard. Lichard Tombson. Sounds cool, huh?"
"Wha-a-at? No-o-o, that sounds like a grave leech... What are you smoking? Wait a minute. You know what? You're Lick now! Here! You, like, asked for it."
"Lick?? Oh gods, Fal! Back in the swamps, no one called me like that yet!.. So yeah, umm. What else? Ah yes, I also pretty much can't consume normal foo..."
"Oh come on, Lick! Let's go fri... I mean, let's go wash first! You can tell me as much as you want after. Those swamps made you wither pretty bad, alright. Now let me remind you what an elven bath is capable of! In an hour you'll be all pink and soft and full of life... and other nice things... heh heh..."