💍 Lord of the Kinks
'I cannot read the fiery letters,' said Foldo in a quavering voice.
'No,' said Bendhalf, 'but I can. The letters are Elvish, of an ancient mode, but the language is in the Twisted Tongue of Vampsylvania, which I will not utter here. But this in the Common Tongue is what is said, close enough:
One Kink to bend them all. One Kink to fold them,
One Kink to bind them all and in the stoneform hold them
It is only two lines of a verse long known in Elven-lore:
Three Kinks for the Elven teens and their spines,
Seven for the Barb-lords and their cocks of stone,
Nine for Mage Boys who never shy,
One for the Skinny Lord on his minotaur throne
In the castle Skinnirim in the land of the lost spines.
One Kink to bend them all. One Kink to fold them,
One Kink to bind them all and in the stoneform hold them
In the castle Skinnirim in the land of the lost spines.'
He posed, and then said slowly in a deep bend: 'This is the Master-kink, the One Kink to bend them all.'