🌳 Forest of the Lost Spines

"Your money or I'm folding in half!" the Rubber Robber bellowed as the thin strip of black cloth covering his essentials trembled menacingly in the wind. "I train every day to make my backfold sharper than a blade!" he added, in case anyone was still doubting him.

"Well, you're a bit late," the Spineless Knight replied, "Your friend, the Bendy Bendit, has already emptied my sack. See?" he held up his empty sack. "The only things left are the old socks, the used teabags and the mouldy cheese."

The Rubber Robber's face fell dramatically in disappointment.

"Hmph!" he grumbled, "I've been practicing my backfold for weeks. Now what am I supposed to do?" He cast a hopeless glance at the Spineless Knight.

"Let's at least take a look at it," the knight suggested. "I promise I won't laugh. I was backfolding like you before I lost my spine in some dirty duel."

"Really?" the Rubber Robber asked, brightening up a bit, unable to believe someone was actually interested in his backfold. "Folks around here usually run away at the sight of it!"

The knight nodded, "Come on then, fold away!"

The Rubber Robber put his feet wide apart, took a deep breath, concentrated and pushed his shoulders back with a loud "Hrrrreee!" His body folded like an accordion, with the tightness so ridiculous that looked like something out of a cartoon.

"Oh... my..." The Spineless Knight gasped in shock, covering his open mouth with his latex-gloved hand. "That's... that's just... wow!"

The Rubber Robber beamed with pride, his back still folded. "You're a pretty brave fella, still standing there," he smirked. "Most folks would've run away by now!" He straightened up and coughed, the air rushing back into his compressed lungs with a whoosh.

The knight shook his head, still in awe. "You know," he said, "I think you've got enough talent to join the garrison. I can recommend you to the commander!"

The Rubber Robber grinned, "Really? You think they'd accept a simple bendit like me?"

"Why knot," the knight rose his fist in a vow. "You've got the skills to back it up!"

"After all the trouble I've caused?"

"Hey, you may have emptied a few sacks when you were in need. Now, you can be a human pancake for people in need!" the knight reasoned, extending his hand, "Folding in half is half the battle for a true spineless knight!"

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The two shook hands, trying to squish each other's gloved palms like lemons.

"Whoa, you've got a firm fist too," the knight admitted, "I guess we're going to be a great team!"

The Rubber Robber nodded enthusiastically, flexing his back with a grin. The knight eyed this human origami with a mix of concern and admiration. "You sure you won't break a rib folding like that?"

"Nah," he said, grinning like a fool. "You can sit on my shoulders to fold me," he offered, "and don't bother taking off your armor. I've done it before!"

The knight raised an eyebrow at this, but then chuckled. "Alright then. You sure I won't send your spine flying across the forest?"

"Come on, I promise I won't catapult you into the sky!" the Rubber Robber reassured him, getting on his knees with his back folded up.

The knight took a deep breath before settling into position upon the human chair. Carefully he lowered his weight onto the Rubber Robber's chest, making sure not to squash the poor fella too much.

"What are you doing, big guy!" the robber groaned under the pressure. "Take your feet off the ground!"

The knight nodded, lifting his legs from the ground and balancing on the robber's chest. The Rubber Robber groaned louder, but didn't ask for mercy.

"Whoa! I've mounted many things in my life, but never anything like this!" the knight admitted, trying to find his balance. "If only I had a squire like you, I'd never have to sit on the logs by campfire, that always makes my butt hurt..."

"I like your bubbly butt on my chest," the Rubber Robber groaned. "Just say the word and I'll be at your service!"

"You may lack the spine but you've got guts, bendit. But let's save those folds for the battlefield!" the knight decided, slowly standing up from his human throne.

The Rubber Robber uncurled himself with a groan and a puff of air.

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"Next time you need a human pancake for the chair, just call me," he said, standing up and stretching.

"Deal!" the knight agreed. "And never forget to keep your backfold sharp as a blade!"

He made a slicing motion, but instead of cutting through the air, his latex-gloved hand merely patted the Rubber Robber on the shoulder.

The robber laughed so hard he had to fold himself in half to catch his breath. The knight and the Rubber Robber, high on laughter, jumped around with their backs folded like a pair of human accordions.

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They wobbled and giggled, making each other laugh harder. They bumped into trees, tripped over roots and fell down in the grass in the most ridiculous poses, trying to remember how to be straight again.

In the end, they lay on their backs, panting in a heap of limbs. The knight looked up at the sky and said, "I guess we're just a pair of spineless fools!"

The Rubber Robber looked at him and grinned. "Maybe we'll just have to fold in half and see what happens."

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The sun was setting over the forest, casting weird shadows of their folded bodies onto the nearby trees. The Spineless Knight and the Rubber Robber lay there, laughing at their own ridiculousness.

"Who needs a spine when you've got back up?" the knight asked, looking at his new friend.

"Or a back fold," the robber added, his grin threatening to swallow his face.

They laughed and giggled, the sound echoing in the forest. The world was a better place with friends like these two around.

And if you ever get lost in this forest, just look for them – they're the ones lying on the ground, laughing their heads off while their backs fold like accordions. And if you think it's weird to see people folding themselves into pancakes, well, maybe it is.