Tight Bonds (WIP)

MC: Now, Yasha and Andrzej, do help each other to celebrate your tight bonds with giving and receiving of the wedding belts.

Yasha: Nice, you got me a velcro belt! Man, I like the way it feels, so snug and empowering!

Andrzej: Just thought it's the best choice for the badass Siberian you are!

Yasha: Thanks! And here's one for you.

Andrzej: Oh my!! A magnetic belt!? But that thing is really powerful!! It's so small too! You think I should really try it?

Yasha: But... but the way you play that scarf sometimes around your waist while bellydancing... I thought it would be the perfect match... Sorry, just a moment, maybe I'll think of something...

Andrzej: Nawww, just kidding!! See? Snap! It's on!

Yasha: Oh my God, you actually did it, Andrzej! Maybe I should have trained with something harder myself, now I think I look fat in comparison!

Andrzej: Oh, Yasha, I promise to give you something harder to play with after the ceremony. (chuckles) Though I must admit, your Kung Fu school didn't give you the black belt for nothing!

MC (coughs): Now that the belts are on, let's proceed to the vowing and giving each other a nice word of compliment.

Andrzej: Umm... Dear Yasha, I promise to be always faithful to you because to me you are like a big pile of dough with sugar on the top!

Yasha: I beg your pardon?

Andrzej: Well, what I meant was that, like dough, um, you can shape yourself into any imaginable pose and you also taste really sweet once you harden.

Yasha (accepting the compliment): Oh... In this case, my dear buddy Andrzej, I promise to stay faithful to you because to me you are like a stream of a snow fox's piss.

Andrzej: Er... whut?

Yasha: I... I merely meant, dear, that you're still boiling HOT even when all around is cold!

Andrzej (chuckles): Oh!

MC: Very well, Yasha and Andrzej. Throughout this ceremony, Andrzej and Yasha have vowed, in our presence, to be loyal and loving towards each other.

(the audience applauds)

MC: They have formalized the existence of the bond between them with words spoken and with the giving and receiving of belts. Therefore, it is my pleasure to now pronounce them... husbend and husbend. You may now bend each other to your spines' content!

Thanks TK for the ideas of Andrzej's outfit and the wedding ceremony jokes ^^