Spineless Lancer WIP

All NSFW content is hidden. Click here if you want to unhide it. Spineless KnightAnother Spineless Knight to join the army of the (Dis)Posable Heroes :D

If Basil lived in Yunia, taken into account his love for the military he'd probably end up in the garrison really fast XD Despite his addiction to contortion, he wouldn't, however, play a mere bendy jester, preferring the more noble roles of knights and guards for his love of long hard weapons and tight leather armor :3

Sometimes during festivities in the castle among the lush forests of Elbend, after drinking a lot of mead, the noble knights would pay to the minstrels to hear some silly songs and teasers, usually meaning to provoke the drunk knights to show off their more interesting sides. While drinking mead and chatting, Sir Basil's ears would suddenly capture the minstrel singing something along these lines...

MINSTREL (singing): Bravely bold Sir Basil
Used to bend his spine a lot.
He was not afraid to break it,
Oh brave Sir Basil.
He was not at all afraid
To be bent in different ways.
Bend, bend, bendy-bend, Sir Basil.

He was not in the least bit scared
To be turned into a knot.
Or to have his ribs popped out,
And his torso twisted.
To have his legs in an oversplit
And his body bent in half,
And his limbs all dislocated,
Brave Sir Basil.

His skin oiled up
And his legs spread out
And his body stretched
Right in front of the crowd
And his backbone crooked
And his bottom on top
Of his own head...

BASIL: "Lads, I'm not gonna fall for that trick again, I swear. I told you this is sort of a personal interest of mine, I'm not really showing it much in public..."

Brave Sir Basil stiffened up.
("No!")
Nimbly stiffened up, he did.
("I didn't!")
When a real performance was about to start,
He couldn't even bend in half.
("You're lying!")
He blinked his eyes full of girls' makeup
And gracefully he stiffened up.
("I'll show you!")
Lost, forgotten, sad, ignored,
He sat there rigid as a board.
The stiffest of the bendies, Sir Basil!

...Of course telling him he looked girly AND stiff as a board was an overkill but it sure provoked him to show off his bendy secrets to the fullest!! :D

Original song by Monty Python! ;3

See also

Oil and SteelArmore MioBlack Knight Basil HadleyMilitary FairyMilitary Fairy v2Basil's Vacations v2Basil's VacationsBasil - 1 year laterAll the truth about BasilBasil's Letterd'Artagnan et les Trois Rapieres

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