Snail Gym

All NSFW content is hidden. Click here if you want to unhide it. Snails have really, really strange bodies compared to us chickens. Their whole body 'remembers' and regenerates its own structure very quickly. For example, if he did a nipple piercing and later changed his mind and got rid of it, there would be no trace of it in a couple of hours. The same happens if their skin gets scratched or wounded.

But that's not all they have derived from their ancestors. Ancient snails used to live on trees and as a result many of them fell down and their broken bones hurt a lot! Through millions of years of falling down the nature finally gave them rubbery bones. The organic structure of their bones allows them to be crooked without breaking and their regeneration abilities would always restore the original state and position of any bone!

The evolution worked really hard on them and allowed them to fall from trees without getting hurt and even survive being stomped on by huge wild animals who roamed the Earth in the prehistoric times. Ironically, snails eventually built a civilization and no longer needed those awesome survival skills. But it's still useful from time to time, for example some newspaper once told a story about a snail who survived being stomped on by an elephant oh his trip in India!

Snails used to laugh a lot at the human contortionists since any snail could do such things effortlessly. On the other hand, they envy humans a lot because snails themselves are really bad at lifting weights, so if you enter their gym you'd see a whole different picture.

First you'd see the best of Cirque du Soleil contortionists smoking nervously in the corridor with dark circles around their eyes after many sleepless nights. So don't proceed if you're an actual contortionist because the sight of the snail gym would shock you! And if you happen to see any younger snail kids in the gym, you might end up in need of immediate medical attention because the sight is simply sanity-bending!

That's perfectly normal because snails indeed have some sort of yoga that they do because stretching helps them a lot to develop a beautiful body. There are techniques to get broader shoulders, slimmer waist, nicely toned arms and abs, smaller buttocks and so on, all by just holding the body in specific stretchy positions.

In fact, without these exercises a snail has a high risk of developing a bad posture or even a hunchback, so daily backbending is very important for them. Traditionally snails used to wear corsets made of shell-like organic material, but recently more and more people are inclined to do the stretching exercises instead because the corsets are just too limiting.

See also

Snow SnailBackbendo and the Prince of SissiesSnail JesterSnow SnailNautilusAll the truth about BasilBoneless 2 - Backs from the GraveYear of the GoatEthanielWarming upBasil's LetterMisha's Selfie Olympics

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