Devilish Initiation

There's been too much ten­sion be­tween an­gels and demons this year, Lu­cifer's army has grown in­cred­i­bly pow­er­ful and might­i­er than ever, sev­er­al light-winged bat­tal­ions al­ready fell in ran­dom con­flicts.

More and more re­ports about an­gels get­ting bul­lied and raped, and the Heav­en­ly troops com­ing to res­cue them get­ting crushed like ba­bies. They say the Fi­nal War could start any day now...

More and more an­gels leave Heav­en to join Lu­cifer's rev­o­lu­tion­ary army. Al­though re­plac­ing the an­gel­ic au­ra with a dev­il­ish one is a painful pro­ce­dure, the vi­sions of the com­ing fall of Heav­en are too clear and make them go for it while Lu­cifer is still re­cruit­ing.

Lu­cifer has grown pu­bic hair and said he's not go­ing to shave it un­til his Rev­o­lu­tion is com­plete and the an­gels lose all their pow­er in the Heav­en­ly Gov­ern­ment as their in­com­pe­tence has been clear­ly proven by thou­sands and thou­sands of years of their lead­er­ship al­ready.

"It is ev­i­dent that the light-winged gov­ern­ment is the root of all evil and there­fore it is time to put an end to it; the Re­bel­lion has gained all the nec­es­sary re­sources for this fi­nal step in our Rev­o­lu­tion", Lord Lu­cifer says at a mil­i­tary con­fer­ence, tak­ing a sexy stance to dae­mon­strate his new hap­py trail to speed­painters and blog­gers.

"We cer­tain­ly can't wait to see our Leader's beau­ti­ful shaved bel­ly again, it has been icon­ic for mil­len­nia and was im­mor­tal­ized in so many works of art, and there­fore we shall put our hearts in­to win­ning this War", Gen­er­al "Baphi" Baphomet com­ment­ed af­ter the con­fer­ence. "I will per­son­al­ly tie Michael to the Pearly Gates and rape him like Gab­by nev­er did in his wildest dreams", he added, re-ad­just­ing his al­ways falling skirt.

Demons are feel­ing very en­thu­si­as­tic these days! But won­der what the an­gels have to say?

"We're not go­ing to lose to some filthy, low­ly fetishists, steeped in sin at birth! Their very ex­is­tence ist wrong wrong wrong and a great mis­take. But God is nev­er mis­tak­en. There­fore, it is our du­ty to erad­i­cate these so called 're­bel­lion' forces of evil and send these demons to con­cen­tra­tion camps where their en­er­gy would be put to good use. We are the High Race, the An­gels, the hands of God, the On­ly Right Pow­er in the God-cre­at­ed Uni­verse and we have 2 bil­lion Chris­tians in our can­non fod­der re­serves whose par­ents sac­ri­ficed their fore­skins to God as a proof their chil­dren are ready to die in His name any day! And that whole talk about 'lib­er­at­ing' the mankind from so called 'God's tyran­ny'...what non­sense! All was cre­at­ed to serve God, it is the world's ON­LY pur­pose. Every­one must fol­low their pur­pose and du­ties as­signed to them by God at birth, oth­er­wise if we fol­low many lead­ers, all we shall ever get is pure chaos! Every­one al­ready re­al­izes it clear­ly, deep in their hearts. So for­get about this so called 'free­dom', for as long as God is alive and well there shall be on­ly Obe­di­ence!"

"I promise that I will per­son­al­ly track down the self-as­sured younger who said all of the above and make him lick the floor in my cas­tle's dun­geons", King As­modeus com­ment­ed, pet­ting the sil­ver hair of his fa­vorite danc­ing slave.

See al­so